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Post by mistytail on Oct 26, 2012 11:31:33 GMT -6
"It is not your destiny to feel better."
This sounds like the butt-backwards logic in olden days where if you got sick, it was because you were a sinner. Except in those ~special~ cases where suffering made you a better person.
Bluefur is one of those cases, apparently. Ugh.
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Post by cloudbat on Nov 6, 2012 22:52:31 GMT -6
That something is probably me snarking all the way.
No one else was a designated pro or antagonist. =D ...that didn't die.
BLASPHEMY
...I read that the wrong way.
Or in Blue Sue's case, even more insufferable.
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Post by cloudbat on Nov 6, 2012 23:21:03 GMT -6
*fumbles with microphone*
We've returned to the airwaves with Blue Sue's nine lives ceremony! There's a world of pain in store for her and I AM EXCITED are YOU excited?
So Sunstar is dead and we didn't get to see Blue Sue develop as a deputy at all because then this book would be even longer and because it would've been too interesting to be allowed.
Tawnyspots, the original deputy, died slowly and in agony because the Erins don't like him.
"The darkness pressing around her still made Blue Sue uncomfortable. It felt as though she were drowning in thick black water she could taste but not feel."
I'm...I don't even. What? What are you even tasting here? The dark?
"At the end of the tunnel, the cave was filled with shadows."
But the...it just said that she was surrounded by darkness...and she's...seeing more darkness ahead? WHAT IS GOING ON
"Watery starlight filtered through the hole in the roof, barely penetrating the dark."
Okay I officially flip a table and give up on understanding the description at all. Leave it to greater minds than mine.
Then the Holy Disco Ball is lit up and "the crystals began to shimmer like tiny trapped suns."
Well all right then, shiny drugs. I can roll with shiny drugs.
"Dazzled, Blue Sue flinched away."
EAT DEM DRUGS WOMAN. AND LIKE IT.
"It smelled of darkness and old, old rock."
WTF DOES DARKNESS SMELL LIKE
*flips all the tables*
Also does Blue Sue have a carbon dater in her nose? Because seriously what the cuss is the difference between the smell of "grandparents as kids" rock and "dinosaurs crapped on it" rock.
"Instantly the cave rushed away on its tiny little centipede feet and Bluefur felt herself being swept through the blackness, darker than night did I really need to know that, tossed and swirled on an invisible river."
So Blue Sue is popped into Fourtrees but there is no fanfare and fireworks awaiting her and she wonders if "the sacrifices she'd made were unforgivable."
HECK TO THE CUSSING YES
kit-killer
"Then the stars began to swirl like leaves caught in an eddy. They gathered speed until they blurred together in a silvery spiral, down, down toward the forest, toward Fourtrees toward her."
These are some high quality drugs, people.
So StarClan comes down and smells like all the seasons and has frost sparkling and glittering all over them like the LSD hallucinations they are.
So Blue Sue sees all her dead bro hoes and a crapton of other random cats because she's that speshul.
So now comes Blue Sue's lives.
Her first is compassion, from Pinestar.
Cuss knows she needs THAT after what she did.
Mumblefoot gives her endurance, perhaps because this book is so friggin long.
Larksong gives her humor and I snort because Blue Sue has no sense of actual humor. Although her whole life is a pretty funny joke.
Sweetpaw gives her hope. In no way related to givesmehope.com.
Sunstar gives her courage to face all angst that shall be piled in her way.
Goosefeather gives her patience, perhaps for the Clan of mentally challenged numbskulls she leads.
Mosskit gives her trust and -
*explodes*
""Mosskit." Bluefur managed to find her voice. "I...I'm so sorry." "I understand." Mosskit mewed simply. "But I miss you."
WHAT THE-
WHAT
What
DUDE
YOUR MOM EFFECTIVELY KILLED YOU
FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON
AND YOU-
I can't even anything anymore.
And then Moonflower gives her love and I laugh, I laugh long and loud and my laugh wakes the dead before sending them back to sleep again with its hideous noise.
God I hate Blue Sue.
"Cherish your Clan as you cherished your kits, for now they are all your kin."
What.
WHAT.
Awsdg;,db'k;as;db;mfllfsk;
a;osgb;/lfjg;ioj'dkf'afas'kg'askd
*EXPLODES*
MY HATRED FOR YOU SEETHES LIKE THE ROTTING UNDERBELLY OF AN EVISCERATED CORPSE AFTER A MONTH OF ROT IN WHICH SULFUR WAS ALSO DECOMPOSING INSIDE IT AND A CHEST NESTING ALIEN BURST ITS WAY OUT
"...her body suddenly felt as if it were being crushed beneath the Moonstone. Bluefur fought for breath, feeling suffocated until light seemed to explode from her heart What, spreading through her body and burning behind her eyes. It left her gasping, trembling on her paws."
So...that was either a REALLY messed up acid trip, or I have just lost faith in everything.
No, wait.
...and the Snowfur gives her her last life. Pride.
Because Blue Sue so obviously needs more of that.
She is so modest and humble.
Hardworking, deserving, witty, and definitely my favorite protagonist.
"Would she ever have that much faith in herself?"
...no comment.
""Thank you for raising Whitestorm," her sister purred. "It was easier to leave him, knowing he had you. Use all your nine lives for your Clan. We will be with you at every step. If you need us, we will come. You were chosen long ago, and StarClan has never regretted its choice."
And then she went insane and ran her Clan into the ground.
StarClan, I have a present for you.
It's not my middle finger, but you're very close.
I am so done with you glowing imbeciles forever.
Signing off,
A very disillusioned Cloud
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Post by celestialsquared on Nov 7, 2012 0:54:06 GMT -6
That was just about the best thing ever, I think.
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Post by mistytail on Nov 7, 2012 7:18:54 GMT -6
Bluestar needs pride like I need a hole in the head.
And I do need a hole in the head.
As in I will shoot myself in the frigging head after reading that. What the hell.
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Post by cloudbat on Nov 7, 2012 10:36:46 GMT -6
I'm glad I could bring amusement even as reality crumbled around me.
I'm so sorry Misty. BRIGHT SIDE: only two chapters left and then the manga bit.
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Post by mistytail on Nov 9, 2012 0:31:40 GMT -6
Th-
There's a manga?
...
Why.
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Post by cloudbat on Nov 10, 2012 21:36:37 GMT -6
In name only and unfortunately that name has stuck in my head. It's just a short, crappy regular comic.
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Post by cloudbat on Dec 22, 2012 23:48:18 GMT -6
"StarClan has never regretted its choice."
At least not until a few books from now, when you go insane and crap.
Wait, why did they choose you again?
"She sat on Highrock, letting the newleaf sunshine dapple her pelt."
Unlicensed pelt-dappling is not allowed; that sunshine has got to be put in its place. POWER TO AUTHORITY
"Dustpaw pounced, landing neatly on Ravenpaw's tail. Shocked, the little black tom leaped into the air."
Wait how did you do that if Dustpaw was on your tail? No comprendo. Also that's an amusing image.
"Ravenpaw had been nervous from the day he was born."
Probably because he feels the plot creeping up on him.
"It had taken his mother nearly half a moon to coax him out of the nursery."
Good boy, you hold onto that desire to avoid those twats and never let it go.
Oh, and then we learn Thistleclaw died in a pool of blood as he chased out RiverClan invaders. Just like that TERRIBLY OMINOUS OMEN OF DOOM she saw moons ago that convinced her to give up her kits, etc.
Oh wait. It did only concern him. I was right after all.
I MUST BE AS POWERFUL AS STARCLAN, FEAR MY MIGHTY...uh...ability to do absolutely diddly-squat and troll everyone magnificently.
Blah blah blah, we learn Thrushpelt is dead and he remained a loyal plot tool until the very end. She and Oakheart have never talked again (probably because he realized what a toolbag she really is)
"But she had never stopped loving him or their kits."
Excuse me, your entire relationship revolved around a one-night stand and several petty border incidents prior to that. I really don't see why this constitutes everlasting love.
Also bollocks, you didn't give a flying rat's behind about your children. See every instance of the word "Mosskit" in these Diaries.
"And the memory of their night at Fourtrees was lodged in her heart."
You might want to get that looked at, I think it's unhealthy.
There's some mildly interesting dialogue between her and Redtail (remember him? Died before we ever knew him?) about her nostalgia and getting old.
She says she has plenty of white hairs on her muzzle and "couldn't help feeling that most of them had been caused by Thistleclaw."
9 of 10 medicine cats approve the stress-relieving method of Shut the Expletive Up.
Apparently he was also the reason she hid the loss of three of her lives, so she has only two left and - wait a second didn't she lose her seventh life in Into the Wild during the rat battle?
Continuity please, can we has please.
No?
I see, that would require effort. Right then.
Even Redtail doesn't technically know about her lives, though she suspects he does. Hurrah.
So she worries about her Clan, it has a lot of elders and few apprentices, all the stuff from the beginning of Into the Wild.
"Spottedleaf was passionate about the welfare of her Clanmates"
As opposed to laughing sadistically as she watched them suffer?
That would be funny though.
"Sparrowpelt had become Halftail when he'd lost the end of his tail to a badger."
...and lived? Really, I'm seriously wondering if an injury of this magnitude could be treated by nothing more than medicine cat herbs and heal.
"Bluestar hadn't wanted to battle over the disputed rocks yet again.So much blood had been lost there already. And for what? A few extra tree-lengths of territory to hunt?"
Oh well that's not important at all wait YES IT IS YOU BLITHERING MORON
Maybe she thinks air isn't necessary either.
"What would happen to ThunderClan now?"
Everything changed when the fire nation atta- whoops wrong story.
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Post by mistytail on Dec 23, 2012 8:42:10 GMT -6
Bluestar pls. Stop being dumb as a box of rocks.
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Post by cloudbat on Dec 23, 2012 8:47:26 GMT -6
Misty, that's heavily insulting to rocks. CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE
/bricked
The saddest part is, the last chapter is the worst in dumbness terms. But at least we're almost through.
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Post by mistytail on Dec 23, 2012 10:16:51 GMT -6
oh god
oh god
please allow me to shrivel up and die in a corner i don't know if i can handle that
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Post by victorystars on Dec 23, 2012 17:36:58 GMT -6
It all changed when the Fire(paw) nation attacked.
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Post by cloudbat on Jan 14, 2013 23:19:24 GMT -6
And look, now we're back at the beginning of Into the Wild, when things actually made a small increment of sense.
"ThunderClan was weaker now than it had been since Pinestar had been leader. Was this how she blazed through the forest?"
Good question.
I'm not saying that any leader's reign is perfect, ever, but that statement alone leads to the question: Why was it necessary for her to become leader? No, "saving" her Clan from Thistleclaw doesn't count, and we never actually see her solve difficult problems or be diplomatic and clever. All interesting content is kept out of this book.
Blue Sue and Spottedsue replay their conversation from the prologue of IoW, Clan is in trouble, few kits, shooting star omen, fire will save the Clan.
Oh, but then we continue.
"Goosefeather once said I would be the fire," Bluestar confessed, uneasy at sharing the old medicine cat's prophecy after all these moons." "I know." Spottedleaf gazed at her leader with clear, unblinking eyes."
Okay, let's see if we can untangle what's going on here.
So Bluestar wasn't the "fire" referred to? Or is she the same fire as the omen says here, and it's just reinforcing the prophecy? Or was Goosefeather wrong the whole time and this entire book was based on the protagonist taking the advice of a drug-addicted hobo? What really is the "fire", anyway - does it symbolize power? The correct use of power? Destiny? A cliched plot device? The arrival of someone Speshul to the Clans?
I don't even know any more, y'all are free to voice your own thoughts and opinions.
"Was he right?" Bluestar leaned forward, desperate with curiosity. Had she been chasing an empty dream all these years? Had she sacrificed her kits for nothing?"
HMMM THAT'S AN EXCELLENT QUESTION
"You saved the Clan from Thistleclaw's leadership. He would have drowned us in blood. And you've led the Clan through many moons, keeping it strong and safe."
Spottedsue, how well did you even know the guy as you condemn him to being the worst thing ever? You were barely an apprentice when Blue Sue became leader and Thistleclaw died moons ago. Also wait. If Spottedleaf was an apprentice when Blue Sue became leader, and it's stated that it's been many seasons, how much older does that make her than Rusty and how creepy does that now make their relationship?
Oh warriors, you so silly.
Blue Sue points out that she's also led ThunderClan to defeat (hey even the protagonist notices) and wonders that if she's followed her destiny, why won't StarClan shut their traps about fire already?
Spottedleaf says maybe she isn't finished, Blue Sue asks what more she can do.
Start the first arc! Because you're a prequel and that's (finally) your job.
Time skip and Blue Sue is asking Whitestorm how much he remembers about Snowfur.
"I remember her smell and the warmth of lying beside her," Whitestorm replied. "Having you around kept her memory alive. You carried the same scent and sometimes, even now, I see my mother in the twitch of your whiskers or the flick of your tail."
Whoa. Who wrote this? I actually really like it.
They reminisce a bit and it's actually quite nice as far as interactions go.
"Bluestar stared straight ahead. "Do you think I've made the right choices?" "Only StarClan knows that for sure" Whitestorm replied."
Well that's reassuring. Only a bunch of dead sparklecats know if I've done the right thing, not sense and logic. Also which choices? Question's rather vague.
Whitestorm asks her why she's questioning herself and reassures her that she's great. She says she never should have let the Clan grow weak. Blue Sue, you do kind of suck or you're just not very remarkable, but you don't control everything. Nice to see you take responsibility for once, though.
Blue Sue wishes it could always be newlead and Whitestorm gets all philosophical and says they'd die of boredom if it were and some predictable but not too sickening typical stuff, bad times make good ones seem better, etc.
Blue Sue and Whitey walk along the boundary of their territory and the neighborhood where Rusty lives. Bluey thinks about Pinestar and whether he regrets leaving now that he's dead. Okay.
Oh look a wild Rusty has appeared.
Rusty uses Scratch on Murkrow!
Rusty misses!
Murkrow takes no damage and flees!
So basically he reared up on his hind paws, batted at a blackbird and failed "by a whisker."
Apparently he's waiting for something else to be dumb enough to swoop over him.
Whitey asks Blue Sue if she thinks he'll be a threat to their prey. Bluey says that's the last thing on her mind and oh no she's wondering if he could be a warrior. Then she gets ahold of herself for a brief, shining moment.
Then cue later when she visits Spottedleaf and hopes she'll be told not to be mouse-brained (yes! yes!) buuuuut of course Spottedsue asks if Blue Sue thinks he might be "the fire" and she says yes...based on his pelt color and his "restlessness." What.
And what do you know, the entire Graypaw incident that started off book one was planned by none other than Blue Sue herself...although that makes zilch sense in context. He says if the kittypet shows promise she'll invite him to join the Clan. Because...because the plot told her to.
Spottedsue says "He will pass every test you set for him. You will choose him, and you will never regret it. But don't think this will be easy. You are about to lead the Clan along the hardest path it has ever known."
"You were right, Goosefeather. A fire will blaze through this forest after all."
...what.
Besides a few comments on the "manga adventure" at the back of the book that I'll post later, this is it, folks. Thank you so much for supporting me all the way through this - I couldn't have finished it without you. I hope Eclipse will also capture your interests and I love seeing everyone's own critiques.
Meow~
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